Tag: love

Here Am I.

“The only way to get over a death is by seeing it as a life completed, instead of a life interrupted.”

~anonymous

From the shimmering stars in the vast sky,
To the hazy people just passing by,
Somewhere between the chaos,
You gaze in the far distance,
Utter my name in the softest cry,
So darling, 
Here am I. 

From the maddening screeches of the crow,
To the soothing waves of the boat you row,
Somewhere between these sounds,
You miss someone you once knew,
And sigh,
So darling,
Here am I. 

From the ecstatic laughs of childhood in the street,
To the table of two with one empty seat,
Somewhere between these memories,
You look up to the sky,
Asking Him why,
So darling,
Here am I. 

From the hairdresser’s uneven hair locks,
To the cheeky kid’s mismatched socks,
Somewhere between these imperfections,
You show your toothy smile,
Proud that she’s taught the world to be a little less shy,
And though she’s gone now,
You hear her in every mark she left,
For the world isn’t black or white,
You don’t live or die,
So darling,
Here am I. 

When We Meet.

But when it comes to you,
You and I both know that’s not true.

I keep imagining, 
That when we coincidentally collide,
And my eyes get a glimpse of your familiar face,
All those memories filled with a mix of pain and hatred,
Would rush through my veins,
And I would put on a cold outside,
Murmur the most harsh, ‘Nice seeing you,’
And force my pierced feet,
To walk away.

But when it comes to you,
You and I both know that’s not true.

For darling,
It takes everything in me,
To not melt into your wide arms when I see you,
Because with your vanilla scented hoodie,
And stupidly charming aura,
I can just be. 

And when the world stops moving,
And the tik-toks pause,
Is when you and I will meet,
And I’d ask you how you’ve been,
‘Just fine,’ would form on your lips,
And I’d think how having long eyelashes,
With dark brown eyes should be a sin. 

And no matter how much I try to hide,
You’d read me so easily,
For my face would scream come back please,
And you’d know in a second,
The kind of power,
You so effortlessly,
Still keep. 

597th night.

For even seeing your ever so alluring face,
Would cause my petite hands to quiver,
And pale legs to shake.

And this is the 597th night I gift to you,
Trying to make up,
For all the sleep you lost because of me,
And all the love in your dark brown eyes,
That I could not,
oh for the death of me,
see,

And this is the 597th night I gift to you,
Trying to make up,
For those 4 birthdays I wished you giftless,
And the aching pain in your heart,
You chose not to express,

And this is the 597th night I gift to you,
Trying to make up,
For all those times I didn’t notice,
how that deeply soothing voice of yours,
Almost as rough as that ten year old couch in your house,
But as homely as it made it your room feel,
Called out for me,
When I was too immersed in creating expectations,
not a single soul,
Could ever meet,

And this is the 597th night I gift to you,
With a blue bow like an icing on the cake,
And for the comforting closure we never had,
For even seeing your ever so alluring face,
Would cause my petite hands to quiver,
And pale legs to shake, 

And this is the 597th night I gift to you,
Trying to make up,
For all those times I never looked you in the eye,
Didn’t appreciate the things you said,
Or the teddy bear in my sack,
The taste of oreo silk in my mouth,
And your swift arms wrapped around my back,

And this is the 597th night I gift to you,
Trying to make up,
For every night we could have spent staring at the distant,
Yet,
Ethereal stars,
Hoping that one day your head will rest on my shoulder again,
I’ll trace your hair,
And this gifted night would finally become,
Ours. 

A frustrated student.

hurt poetry is the easiest to write, 
maybe that’s why this mix of,
frustration and stress,
isn’t bleeding words tonight.
hurt poetry is the easiest to write  
maybe that’s why this mix of 
frustration and stress
isn’t bleeding words tonight 
For irregular menstrual cycles 
math homework deadlines
sore throats 
and failing to mug up why Israel is at war with Palestine
Don’t classify as poetry 
because  being a student is nothing compared to
the pain of  the syrian girl who lost her parents 
or the five year old who has lung cancer 
or the boy who got cheated on with his best friend 
because being a student  isn’t unique to you 
everyone deals with it but does that really make the pain less? 
does that stop the night outs we pull till 3 am?
does that stop the constant pressure on our heads?
does that stop the thirst for grades?
it does not because this frustration and stress we feel never bleeds 
but neither does it ever fade.

- poetry has no rules, my dear.  

A Glass Of Rose.

But those roots below your heart,
Will wrap around my neck,
Crush my throat,
Burning it more than this glass of rose ever could.

alcohol is a sin.
With a glass of rose in my hand
And a raw cigarette in the other
Tonight I gaze at the front door
In an uncomfortably comfortable silence
And wait for you to come home 
And I seem to have lost count of how many times I’ve landed here
Sitting on the chestnut brown stairs
The same shade as your locks and mine
The ones you parted in the middle,
And flaunted your distinct bald line, 
I imagine you coming through that door
Any minute, any second
Shouting you’re back  
hoping I’m not up
For sleep doesn’t come,
Without you by my side anymore,
Ironically my toxic habits now,
Are why you’re lying within four white walls, 
Nevertheless, 
This glass is my way to cope,
And sometimes my mind drifts to the possible future,
And my throbbing head in your lap,
But those roots below your heart,
Will wrap around my neck,
Crush my throat,
Burning it more than this glass of rose ever could,
And yet I’ll lay there,
Choking, 
Gasping, 
Over and gone will be the wait,
For you’ll finally be here,
But all that pain makes me wonder,
That maybe,
Just maybe,
This time for me,
It will be too late.

- 'i'm sorry but his liver is too damaged to save.'

Mahabharat and Bharat

 They say Mahabharat and Bharat aren’t the same,
Yet husbands still seemingly own their wives,
Yudhistra gambled Draupadi away,
Marital rape is still legal,
For law doesn’t care about a wife’s say. 

They say Mahabharat and Bharat aren’t the same,
Yet women are still touched,
Like their bodies are pieces of fabric,
Just like when Dushasan touched Draupadi,
Sanji Ram touched Asifa,
And Mukesh touched Jyoti.

They say Mahabharat and Bharat aren’t the same,
Mariyam screams 
‘Talaaq, Talaaq, Talaaq’
Farooq laughs,
Another woman moves in the next day. 

It’s 2019,
And Draupadi is still considered a victim,
Not an empress,
For even now,
Being an assault survivor is considered a shame,
So tell me how Mahabharat and Bharat aren’t the same.
Ladies, we flawless. Even Beyonce agrees.

Colours

or maybe,
we will finally learn,
to appreciate this beguiling world,
once,
and for all.


Colours are a delicacy,
one only some are lucky enough to see.
Sometimes I think,
were the world colourless,
where would we be?
Would we smile as often
Would we feel as free
for our minds would be black and white,
and so would our dreams.

For sometimes,
colours can represent us
more than words,
themselves.
Look at me right now,
not knowing what to write,
but mind full of shades,

Each soul has a colour
Each feeling has a shade
Who knows,
a world so colourless,
and bleak
might leave our fragile bodies,
soulless,
and our overbearing hearts,
weak.

Our vibrant thoughts of bliss,
will be sucked out
like a dementor’s kiss.
Will we become numb?
Will we lose it all?
or maybe,
we will finally learn,
to appreciate this beguiling world,
once,
and for all.

Feminism in the modern era.

In honour of women’s day, here’s a little something.

Women’s day. An occasion to celebrate women, and how far they’ve come. After several struggles, protest and strikes and loads of hard work – women have reached where they are today, and it still is nowhere equal to where men are. They might be getting the same jobs as men, but not the same salary. They might be getting the same rights as men, but not the same respect. They might be getting the same security as men, but are they really safe? Some say that it is due to the under development of the country, and the socio – economic problems which have caused women to be uneducated or poor. Yet, America being one of the most developed and wealthy countries – still chose to elect a misogynistic, and sexist orange faced president instead of electing their first female president. Coming back to India. Although, there are numerous cases of violence against women which are filed in our country, everyday – we as a society are slowly and gradually beginning to accept the fact that gender discrimination is a real thing, and that women rights are human rights. Feminism as a concept has really begun to gain popularity in the past few years. Yet some people have misunderstood that feminists are people who are against men, and want special rights for women but that is the exact opposite of who they are. Feminism is the belief that every female should be provided with the same privileges and rights as any other person, and not just legally. Society needs to accept them and believe in their capabilities. Above all, females need to believe in each other if no one else does.
Earlier, women weren’t as aware of their rights and were to afraid to speak up. Afraid of how society would judge them, afraid of how they would be treated afterwards, afraid of what people would think of them. But, it isn’t what people think which matters – it’s what we think of ourselves. Since birth, women have been taught shame. They have been taught to cover themselves up and they have been taught that by being female, they are at fault. They have been suppressed by their own people for so long, that they have lost faith in themselves. Our owns society starts mistreating them as soon as they enter this world. They pray to goddesses in temples, but abuse women in the domestic sphere. They elect women to powerful political offices, yet mistreat young girls in public, and what’s worse is that people are still pretending like it isn’t happening.
However, in this modern era of feminism, movements and protests like the #MeToo movement have helped them find their voice. They say it’s a scary time for men but if you aren’t someone who harasses women, then why is it scary? It is this mentality that we need to change. That women are trying to overpower men, because that is the exact opposite of what they are trying to do.
I don’t know if you all are aware of this, but recently a 620 km long women’s wall was formed in kerala. It was formed in hopes to protest against the Sabrimala controversy, and gender equality in general. This is a clear example of what women are trying to do – which is empower another, so many women still fear speaking out, and talking about how they’ve suffered for so long. Until we get to a state where each and every woman is bold and confident enough to share their story, and to share what they stand for – we haven’t achieved gender equality.

To all the women out there, it’s your day – treat yourself. You are one of a kind, man.

Maybe the wolf is in love with the moon.

“For maybe, the wolf is in love with the moon, and each month it cries for a love it will never reach,
and maybe the moon is in love with the sun, and each night it longs for a love it will never touch.”

Before this vast world started swarming with the undying human race, it was just a dim forest. A forest as dark as death’s eye, and as gloomy as a graveyard on a wet Sunday. Until Solis came. Solis was a gift from the gods, a gift to the creatures who resided in the mystical forest. He sang harmonious songs, which were so bright and melodious, that they ignited the correct path for those who lost their way in that enchanting yet, forgotten forest. But alas, no matter how much one tried, no one was ever able to even catch a glimpse of the rumoured to be divine looking Solis.
Until Luna lost her way.
Luna had been on her way to the huge Venus tree. She went there once a year, just to pluck those alluring white flowers. The white flowers complimented her complexion which was as white as they were. Luna had been strolling around, without thinking about which way she was going. She was too busy day dreaming about the gorgeous flowers she was going to have in her palms in a few hours. Then the speculated happened, and Luna didn’t know where she was.
She had heard a lot about Solis, and often heard his faint singing when someone near her lost their way. But this was the first time she had lost her way, although it wasn’t something she wished for, she was keen on hearing Solis’ oh so soothing voice, so she called for him,
“Solis, I have lost my way, could you please lead me to the Venus tree?”
Luna waited for a few minutes, and then she heard a gentle voice, which gradually grew into the most remarkable voices she had ever heard. It took Solis just a few minutes to highlight the correct path she had to go in with a bright sparkling golden light. Luna, slightly disappointed that his song ended, thanked Solis. But before leaving, she didn’t hesitate to ask him why he never showed himself. To which he replied with the most adorable chuckle Luna had ever heard and said
“It’s what the gods have commanded me to do.”
Luna was puzzled and longed to know more, hence she asked him what would happen if he showed himself. She waited for a reply, but none came. Maybe he had gone with the wind, possibly to help another lost soul. Instead of collecting those white flowers, Luna now had another desire. She was bound to catch a sight of Solis.
She set on a long journey to look for him. When she heard even the slightest sound of his voice, she would go running into its direction, only to be greeted with nothingness. One day she heard him singing, and this time it felt as if he was extremely close to her. She grabbed her things and went running into the direction of the voice. This time, she wasn’t greeted with nothingness, but instead a hairy man, with sharp features. She silently approached him and asked him in a faint voice –
“Are you Solis?”
The man chuckled, sounding nothing like Solis.
“Of course not, I’m just another lost man who he has succeeded to guide in the right direction. If I’m not wrong, you must be another soul trying to look for him, but bound to fail to do so?”
Luna scoffed, and said “I am not just another person trying to look for him, I am determined to find him and I will not fail in doing so.”
The man was fascinated by her perseverant personality, and said “If this is so, I am obliged to help you. What is your good name, young lady?”
Although Luna disliked the gentleman, she really could use some help and hence, introduced herself.
He told her his name was Lupus, and together they continued their hunt for Solis.
For many days, they looked for him. They tried to summon him while pretending to lose their way, but nothing worked. Once, Luna could have sworn that she saw Solis’s golden hair before he disappeared into darkness. One day, Lupus said –
“This isn’t working Luna, we need to think of a better plan instead of chasing him.”
The truth was, that Lupus wanted to leave Luna a long time ago, but he had fallen in love with Luna’s personality and her stunning looks. He wasn’t interested in finding Solis, but he knew how much Luna wanted to and although it hurt him, he knew she adored Solis.
“Well, what else can we do? I don’t think there is any other way,” said Luna.
Lupus sat down, and began to think ways to trick Solis into showing himself. He thought about why the gods had sent him on this earth, and suddenly it hit him.
“Luna! If we summon Solis, and tell him to guide us to him, then he will have to show himself!”
“And why would he show himself just because we ask him to?”
“Because he has been ordered to! Remember, Solis is obliged to guide every creature to whichever way direction they want to. He cannot say no, because its his duty,” I told Luna.
Luna excitedly started jumping around, and after she had calmed down, we took our plan forward. As per our wish, Solis came and when we told him our destination, he said with hesitation in his voice – “ But I am not supposed to show myself to you creatures,”
To which Luna replied, “Its your duty to guide us to our destination, and you must do so.”
Solis then quietly showed himself.
Luna saw him and gasped. He had god like features, which were glowing because of the shimmering golden light surround his body. He carried a mysterious aura around him, which made him stand out from everybody else. Luna had never seen someone so charming and beguiling before. His intense gaze glimmered into her lost eyes. Unfortunately, all good things don’t last forever. Before any of them had time to say anything, thunder and lightning struck out of nowhere. The thunder seemed to crack the air, as if the very heavens might split apart, which sort of happened. An enormous figure appeared, with huge features, and a body ten times the normal size.
“SOLIS! I COMMANDED YOU TO NEVER SHOW YOUR FACE TO ANY CREATURE, WHY HAVE YOU DISOBEYED ME?”
Solis replied in a scared tone – “Oh lord, they asked me to guide them to me, and as it’s my duty to do so, I was obliged to show myself.”
God was outraged, and announced-
“NEVERTHELESS, YOU ALL DESERVED TO BE CURSED FOR MAKING SUCH A FOOLISH MISTAKE.”
They all gasped, and begged for forgiveness, but of course god was too angered to feel any amount of sympathy for us. He began again,
“FIRSTLY, SOLIS YOU ARE FORBIDDEN TO STEP FOOT IN THIS LAND AGAIN. YOU WILL NOW STAY IN THE SKY AND PROVIDE LIGHT TO THE CREATURES DURING THE DAY.”
“SECOND, LUNA AS YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH SOLIS. YOU ARE FORBIDDEN TO EVER BE ABLE TO TOUCH HIM AGAIN, AND YOU WILL NOW STAY IN THE SKY AND PROVIDE LIGHT TO THE CREATURES DURING THE NIGHT. AS SOLIS WILL DRIFT FROM THE EARTH, YOU WILL ENTER WITHOUT COMING CLOSE TO HIM.”
“AND AS FOR YOU, LUPUS. YOU WERE THE MAIN CAUSE OF THIS. AS YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH LUNA, I PUNISH YOU TO STAY IN THIS LAND FOREVER ALONE. EVERY MONTH YOU WILL CRY FOR HER BUT YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REACH HER.”
Then the god left, after destroying the love they had. Luna cried tears upon hearing the curse and created the stars.
Lupus looked at Luna one last time and said, “I will look for you among the stars,” and disappeared.
‘Solis’ which is Latin for Sun, became the source of light for the creatures during the day. When it set, then came ‘Luna’, Latin for Moon, she lightened up the world during the night. Providing them with hope, even during the darkest of times, just like her persona. Lupus, Latin for ‘wolf’ remained forever alone, and once a month, tried to jump and reach the moon while howling loudly for its love.
“For maybe, the wolf is in love with the moon, and each month it cries for a love it will never reach,
and maybe the moon is in love with the sun, and each night it longs for a love it will never touch.”

Honey, you look good today. Keep going.