Tag: heartbreak

Here Am I.

“The only way to get over a death is by seeing it as a life completed, instead of a life interrupted.”

~anonymous

From the shimmering stars in the vast sky,
To the hazy people just passing by,
Somewhere between the chaos,
You gaze in the far distance,
Utter my name in the softest cry,
So darling, 
Here am I. 

From the maddening screeches of the crow,
To the soothing waves of the boat you row,
Somewhere between these sounds,
You miss someone you once knew,
And sigh,
So darling,
Here am I. 

From the ecstatic laughs of childhood in the street,
To the table of two with one empty seat,
Somewhere between these memories,
You look up to the sky,
Asking Him why,
So darling,
Here am I. 

From the hairdresser’s uneven hair locks,
To the cheeky kid’s mismatched socks,
Somewhere between these imperfections,
You show your toothy smile,
Proud that she’s taught the world to be a little less shy,
And though she’s gone now,
You hear her in every mark she left,
For the world isn’t black or white,
You don’t live or die,
So darling,
Here am I. 

When We Meet.

But when it comes to you,
You and I both know that’s not true.

I keep imagining, 
That when we coincidentally collide,
And my eyes get a glimpse of your familiar face,
All those memories filled with a mix of pain and hatred,
Would rush through my veins,
And I would put on a cold outside,
Murmur the most harsh, ‘Nice seeing you,’
And force my pierced feet,
To walk away.

But when it comes to you,
You and I both know that’s not true.

For darling,
It takes everything in me,
To not melt into your wide arms when I see you,
Because with your vanilla scented hoodie,
And stupidly charming aura,
I can just be. 

And when the world stops moving,
And the tik-toks pause,
Is when you and I will meet,
And I’d ask you how you’ve been,
‘Just fine,’ would form on your lips,
And I’d think how having long eyelashes,
With dark brown eyes should be a sin. 

And no matter how much I try to hide,
You’d read me so easily,
For my face would scream come back please,
And you’d know in a second,
The kind of power,
You so effortlessly,
Still keep. 

597th night.

For even seeing your ever so alluring face,
Would cause my petite hands to quiver,
And pale legs to shake.

And this is the 597th night I gift to you,
Trying to make up,
For all the sleep you lost because of me,
And all the love in your dark brown eyes,
That I could not,
oh for the death of me,
see,

And this is the 597th night I gift to you,
Trying to make up,
For those 4 birthdays I wished you giftless,
And the aching pain in your heart,
You chose not to express,

And this is the 597th night I gift to you,
Trying to make up,
For all those times I didn’t notice,
how that deeply soothing voice of yours,
Almost as rough as that ten year old couch in your house,
But as homely as it made it your room feel,
Called out for me,
When I was too immersed in creating expectations,
not a single soul,
Could ever meet,

And this is the 597th night I gift to you,
With a blue bow like an icing on the cake,
And for the comforting closure we never had,
For even seeing your ever so alluring face,
Would cause my petite hands to quiver,
And pale legs to shake, 

And this is the 597th night I gift to you,
Trying to make up,
For all those times I never looked you in the eye,
Didn’t appreciate the things you said,
Or the teddy bear in my sack,
The taste of oreo silk in my mouth,
And your swift arms wrapped around my back,

And this is the 597th night I gift to you,
Trying to make up,
For every night we could have spent staring at the distant,
Yet,
Ethereal stars,
Hoping that one day your head will rest on my shoulder again,
I’ll trace your hair,
And this gifted night would finally become,
Ours. 

A frustrated student.

hurt poetry is the easiest to write, 
maybe that’s why this mix of,
frustration and stress,
isn’t bleeding words tonight.
hurt poetry is the easiest to write  
maybe that’s why this mix of 
frustration and stress
isn’t bleeding words tonight 
For irregular menstrual cycles 
math homework deadlines
sore throats 
and failing to mug up why Israel is at war with Palestine
Don’t classify as poetry 
because  being a student is nothing compared to
the pain of  the syrian girl who lost her parents 
or the five year old who has lung cancer 
or the boy who got cheated on with his best friend 
because being a student  isn’t unique to you 
everyone deals with it but does that really make the pain less? 
does that stop the night outs we pull till 3 am?
does that stop the constant pressure on our heads?
does that stop the thirst for grades?
it does not because this frustration and stress we feel never bleeds 
but neither does it ever fade.

- poetry has no rules, my dear.  

Mahabharat and Bharat

 They say Mahabharat and Bharat aren’t the same,
Yet husbands still seemingly own their wives,
Yudhistra gambled Draupadi away,
Marital rape is still legal,
For law doesn’t care about a wife’s say. 

They say Mahabharat and Bharat aren’t the same,
Yet women are still touched,
Like their bodies are pieces of fabric,
Just like when Dushasan touched Draupadi,
Sanji Ram touched Asifa,
And Mukesh touched Jyoti.

They say Mahabharat and Bharat aren’t the same,
Mariyam screams 
‘Talaaq, Talaaq, Talaaq’
Farooq laughs,
Another woman moves in the next day. 

It’s 2019,
And Draupadi is still considered a victim,
Not an empress,
For even now,
Being an assault survivor is considered a shame,
So tell me how Mahabharat and Bharat aren’t the same.
Ladies, we flawless. Even Beyonce agrees.

Colours

or maybe,
we will finally learn,
to appreciate this beguiling world,
once,
and for all.


Colours are a delicacy,
one only some are lucky enough to see.
Sometimes I think,
were the world colourless,
where would we be?
Would we smile as often
Would we feel as free
for our minds would be black and white,
and so would our dreams.

For sometimes,
colours can represent us
more than words,
themselves.
Look at me right now,
not knowing what to write,
but mind full of shades,

Each soul has a colour
Each feeling has a shade
Who knows,
a world so colourless,
and bleak
might leave our fragile bodies,
soulless,
and our overbearing hearts,
weak.

Our vibrant thoughts of bliss,
will be sucked out
like a dementor’s kiss.
Will we become numb?
Will we lose it all?
or maybe,
we will finally learn,
to appreciate this beguiling world,
once,
and for all.

Why Stop?

I wrote this a while ago, hopefully it motivates you to take that chance, and do the risky things you’ve been trying to avoid doing in your lives.

They are there to help guide us, to make sure that we do not get lost in this complicated life of ours, but even if we do, we can always return to where we started, we can always go back to the beginning, because we have a whole journey, a whole life ahead of us. So my friend, why stop?

As the rain falls gently, I hear the ever so calming pitter – patter sound of it. No, not a storm, there isn’t even any thunder or lightning. Just light rain, which has been falling throughout the day. Soon enough, night has approached. Ah, night. Today, it looks rather darker and mystical than usual. The shining moonlight beams through the window, into my dim room. Sunlight is way brighter, but I’ve always found the moonlight rather ethereal and elven looking. Of course, the stars are a big plus. The moon is just so beautiful, there aren’t enough words to describe it. Although there is nothing special about its plain colours, it is just so glamorous in its own way. If I had to compare the moon to a human, it would be the type of person who has the looks of an angel but, is so mysterious and in real possesses the personality of a devil. The kind of person, whose beguiling looks can deceive even the most cynical of human beings. The mixture of the moonlight, and the soothing sound of rain creates a rather magical aura.

The trees outside my house, sway along with the wind as if dancing to a soft, melodious song. The water droplets, drop slowly on them, making their forest green colour look new as if just painted. The street lights on the road, sparkle brighter than usual, because of the dark and gloomy night. As if joining the stars in providing hope, during the darkest of times. It’s late, almost midnight, yet the city moves so fast as if trying to catch a train at the station. The cars move fast while trying to over take each other as if racing to see who reaches their dreams first. The traffic lights are there at every turn, to maintain their speed, so that they don’t destroy themselves during their journey to achieve their dreams.

If you think of it, it’s all like the human life. The cars are us humans, competing along with each other to see who accomplishes their goals first, the street lights are there to provide us humans with hope, even during the darkest of times. The traffic lights are there at every turn, every hardship in life, to remind us to take care of ourselves and not destroy ourselves while trying to fulfill all our dreams and desires. All those lights around us, represent our loved ones. The ones who stay with us during our bad times and help us when needed. A speed ticket, or a small accident represent the mistakes we make which help us learn and not repeat them again. These are all held together by one road, the road of life which takes us on a beautiful journey with several hardships and fun times along the way, until we reach our destination.

It teaches us that we can put loud music on, and drive at a fast speed, but if we have too much fun sometimes, then it leads to mistakes and too many mistakes can destroy us, which is why the lights are there. They are there to help guide us, to make sure that we do not get lost in this complicated life of ours, but even if we do, we can always return to where we started, we can always go back to the beginning, because we have a whole journey, a whole life ahead of us. So my friend, why stop?

Here is my daily dose of virtual hugs, for all of you out there living and struggling, for anyone who hasn’t give up. You all are amazing, man.

The reason why I’m starting this blog.

Trust me, it’s not why people usually start a blog.

I believe that when people give advice or just any kind of knowledge about life, they are really talking to their past selves. To their younger selves, who were still naive and didn’t know much about life. It’s like they’re trying to prevent you from making the same mistake they made before.

This is for everybody out there, surviving. You all are so strong.

Heyyy to anyone reading this. THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY FIRST POST YAYYYIIIEE. I’ve been procrastinating on making this blog for the past 3 months. But you know what, it’s 2019 now. Time for new beginnings and all that crap which I’m trying really hard to believe in, this year. As you know from the title of this post, I’m going to share the reason why I’m creating a blog with you all. You might have gotten a broad idea of what I’m about to tell you by the little quote kinda thing I wrote above, but anyways here we go.

Firstly, I feel as if this part of my life, is very important and right now – everything which is going on in the world has raised so many questions and thoughts and opinions in my mind that I feel the need to vent out somewhere. Not just to my best friend, or to my sister, but to as far as my voice reaches. I may sound like those patriotic over achievers but I really want to create an impact. Something I really enjoy doing – is writing, so I thought why not combine the two? Going back to this part of my life being very important. I know going into high school isn’t a huge deal, especially in our country, but I believe that this period of going from someone who thought a person shouting at me in 5th grade was the biggest problem in the world, to someone who is socially aware and understands the various difficulties people go through in this world – is one of the major but not talked about enough part of puberty and maturity.

Secondly, school hasn’t been the absolute best or worst, but what it has been is – a place which has given me memories I will never be able to forget or replace. As cringe worthy as it sounds, I love that shithole. Furthermore, these memories have taught me lessons, left me with experiences, and quite a chaotic life. I sound like any other teen and I’m sorry about that but, in reference to my little quote above – I really want to be able to have a platform to generally talk about things or some advice I would have given my younger self. Don’t worry it won’t be the cheesy ‘Don’t fall in love’ type. Giving advice to my past self, won’t just be about what I should have or shouldn’t have done. I want to talk about the issues which surround our community and environment, the issues I wasn’t aware about at that age. Issues many people still aren’t aware off.

Us lucky ones have been provided with so much in life – electricity, food, water and much more. But most importantly we have education which we can share with those who weren’t as fortunate as us, and what better way to do this than to use the internet as our platform. Many people say that social media is a curse, and the internet is destroying childhoods and that it is an addiction which I totally agree with. Internet’s misuse can be very harmful. But if we have electricity in our houses, we have network, routers, if we have internet in our house and possess any kind of knowledge then shouldn’t we combine both? Shouldn’t we try to use it for the better, and set an example for those who misuse it? What if someone takes it the wrong way? What if it becomes an addiction? 
There can be so many what if’s, but we need to take the chance. Every thing we say on here, can have an impact on someone’s life. It’s up to us whether or not make it a positive or negative one. If we have so much then it would be a waste to throw it all away, don’t you think?